From traditional loc's to Sisterlocks!: September 2011

Sunday, September 25, 2011

When Lyfe deals U Lemons!

THE BEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem.

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		I. PRE-LOCK PHASE The hair is in thin, tightly coiled spirals. Its appearance is along the lines of either ringlets or Shirley Temple curls. This is the infancy stage (baby locks).
	II. SHOOTING PHASE After the budding phase, the entire lock begins the process of interlocking and matting. The direction is downward from the bud to the end of the hair and back upwards toward the scalp (similar to how some plants develop). The hair closest to the scalp is not locked; this is where you have new growth. During this phase, the hair increases in density because it begins to replicate itself like DNA. Your hair remains in this phase for the longest period of time (adult locks).
	III AND IV CONTRACTING PHASE This is the final stage in which the hair becomes mature adult locks: an airtight interlocked, spiraling, network system. The locks become consistent, tight and fairly solid at this point. It will probably be fairly long in length at this point, as the hair will grow extraordinarily once the spiral form has been established. (elder locks).